things i know...

today we watched cbs sunday morning and they were featuring a story about merle haggard. originally from ok, his family moved to ca during the great depression and he grew up in a converted train car right next to the tracks. on the show, he played a song he had been writing about what happy memories he has of that time and it got me thinking...

As parents, we spend so much time focused on things we think really matter (no tv until he's 5! her nursery isn't the right shade of retro-mod pink! my diaper bag doesn't match the car seat!)- i've been guilty of all of these. Here is what i've learned about what's really important:

don't worry about your child being some perfect expression of who you are. let them be themselves. let them dress in silly clothes. let them get their best clothes messy. they don't need a faux-hawk. by the way, they are going to ruin those shoes within a month.

teach then to respect others. don't let them stomp, or whine in restaurants, or chew with their mouth open, or forget to say please and thank you. when they are riding their bike, tell them to get out of the way of other. make them take turns on the swings.

kiss them more than they want, hug them more than they need. snuggle them when they sleep. Sleep in their room sometimes so you're there when they wake up.

do things for them you wouldn't do on principle before you had kids (buy that toy at walmart, go bowling, go to Disneyland). You will appreciate the look on their face more than your own stick-to-ittiveness.

make friends with people who have kids. you'll be lonely if you don't. you'll see less of your friends without kids and it'll be hard. put yourself out there. it's weird and you won't have anything to talk about besides poop, but you'll be glad.

talk about poop. it changes all the time and your pediatrician won't always be available to discuss.

read to them every night. let everyone who is in the house at bed time read to them if your child asks. let them make friends with your grown up friends.

feed them what you are eating. don't feed them dessert until they have eaten a good dinner. don't make special food for them. feed them veggies from the beginning like it's no big deal, make them eat veggies with every meal.

sometimes mcdonald's is the cheapest, easiest option for lunch. it'll make your kids happy. don't beat yourself up about it, just get the apples instead of fries and enjoy the fact that you don't have to stress about what to feed them.

make them play outside at least once a day - it'll force them to be creative. they will say they are bored. make them go back outside. don't tell them what to do.

don't worry about it being perfect. do the best you can. if you mess it up, it's not going to scar them for life. just don't do it again.

breastfeed your baby if you can for as long as you can (or until it starts to feel creepy). your big kid will be so much healthier as a result. and yeah, it hurts really bad for 2 weeks, but then it gets better.

love love love them. don't worry about spoiling them with attention, the more attention you give them without them having to ask, the less they will ask for it.

off to go enjoy this morning!